Most people would rather die…

I always loved public speaking. Even as a shy kid I grew when I was standing in front of an audience. In social gatherings I was quiet, but when I was on stage the control was mine and I loved holding presentations in school.

It took me some time to become at peace with my love for the spot light. My egos longing to be seen felt embarrassing, even ugly. Especially since I had no skills to talk about, I felt like it would be different if I was a musician, an acrobat or had some other talent to show off. I wasn’t even a specialist in a specific field of knowledge. Instead, I loved to speak, tell stories, entertain, educate and facilitate groups. I loved it as an activity and an art form. It felt like magic to make people laugh, learn and come to new realisations. 

Throughout the years I learned to value this fascination and decided to make it my art (after all, it is pretty rare to love public speaking). I took every chance to practice. Some years ago I decided to hold a presentation in some shape or form every month for a year (I made it 10 out ot 12 months). Of course I felt like I made a fool out of myself on many occasions. Of course I felt embarrassed on stage when I lost track or did something clumsy (like taking a sip of water and coughing for a minute before I could speak again). And yes I am still nervous every time. But that’s how you grow and I decided long ago to choose courage over comfort. 

I still feel a sting of ”who am I to do this? what if everyone think I’m a self-centered attention whore?” sometimes. But as with every art form one must put oneself out there without knowing the result beforehand, one must just continue practice and trust the journey. Greatness is not a constant or a personality trait, it is a state that we sometimes experience (usually based on hard work and a little bit of luck) if we keep on striving for it. 

Recently, I’ve been practicing something that I fear. Joking. Being deliberately funny on stage is scary (especially when you had people explicitly telling you that you are fun but not funny…). What if nobody laughs? So far, neither the worse case nor the best case scenario occurred. So I keep practicing my jokes. 

My goal from since I was a kid was to lead a life interesting enough so that I can live on traveling the world and share stories. Even if it goes zig zag sometimes, I’m constantly taking steps in that direction. 

I believe manifesting your goals helps in achieving them, so this is another step forward.

Thanks for reading and long live powerful dreams!

me speaking
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